Malaria is humankind’s greatest killer, outpacing school shootings and rainbow parties combined. Theories purport variously that malaria created sickle-cell disorder, destroyed the Roman Empire, and killed half the people who ever lived. We here at Remains of Style recently contracted malaria, and thus sought out the disease’s only known treatment: Gin & Tonic.
Many moons ago, the Quechua people used cinchona bark to treat fever. Jesuit missionaries saw this and brought it back to Europe, saying, “Hey look we invented this bark that cures malaria. It’s called Jesuit’s bark.” The active ingredient quinine was later isolated from this spice by the French and the English further improved it into the medicine known today as Gin & Tonic.
Gin & Tonic, which for some reason doesn’t have a cutesy name, is one of the most, and perhaps the only, palatable gin cocktail. Science says things called “molecules” mix together and mask the gross flavors that gin and tonic have independently. It all sounds highfalutin to us but the results bear this out. The taste is pleasantly acrid.
Here’s how we did it:
- Squeeze the juice from half a key lime into a Collins glass.
- Add some ice.
- Fill glass approx. 1/3 with gin. We used Broker’s because of its cute hat.
- Fill remaining 3/5 with tonic water. Do not substitute seltzer or club soda. Those will not cure your malaria.
- Drop the lime hides on top for color.